A Gift..

I wanted to share a special gift that God surprised me with this week. It wasn't my birthday or a special holiday, just an ordinary Tuesday evening, just like any other evening I laid Sophia to sleep at 6:30 for the night. I usually am able to get a couple hours in to be productive and finish my to do's. At around 8:30 Sophia started wailing, this was not usual as she rarely wakes up so early after falling asleep yet I let her cry a couple minutes and then went in to assess the situation. Diaper check, temperature check, coziness check, full belly check. All checked out well and I left again. A couple minutes later she began wailing again. I thought that's strange yet this time something told me to go get her out of bed. I picked her up and she instantly calmed down, against babywise rules I took her out of her room ( I would normally just rock her back to sleep in the glider). Yet something was telling me to take her into bed with me. I sat with her and held her in my arms, she was still awake yet so at peace and so calm. She stared at me for several minutes and told me over and over again with her eyes, "Mommy, I love you". She was starting to fall asleep and I didn't want this moment to end so I placed her next to me and laid down to watch her sleep for as long as I could keep my eyes open. Two and half hours later I woke up and she was still sleeping peacefully next to me, I decided to now take her back to bed. Yet, what an awesome gift God gave me of those precious hours sleeping next to my beautiful Sophia. He must have known I really needed this, we get so caught up in life and as much as I never want to admit it they do grow up so fast. I will always cherish these little moments when time almost stands still.

No #2 Pencils needed

Trust has been the name of the game in my life for the past couple months. It began in November when a misguided pediatrician diagnosed my daughter with having a deadly blood infection. For an entire 36 hours my trust in the lord was tested like never before. I was only able to be a spectator, having no control of the situation yet to pray and speak words of healing over my beautiful Sophia. I am a control person my nature, although I have gotten much better at letting go and letting God, it took a tremendous amount of trust to leave it all in his hands and know that he was in control. 36 hours after that diagnosis, her blood results came back negative and when another doctor saw her she determined that she had tonsillitis, not a deadly blood infection (the first doctor forgot to check her throat). I was incredibly relieved, after the initial anger subsided of the terrible mistake the doctor had made and how it had affected our entire family, I was speaking with God in the shower and it hit me. God was testing my faith and my trust in him. Reminiscing on the past 48 hours events it all made sense and it was so clear how it all was orchestrated in a fashion only God could. I think I faired pretty good on the first test, yet now God is testing my trust in him again. This time it is with my own health and this time I know what is on the test before going into it yet I don't know all the answers. I do know alot of things though, I know that God will never abandon me, I know that he is in control, I know that he only wants the best for me and I know that I am healed by the stripes of his son Jesus. This knowledge from his word is what is keeping me going. It's all I've got and I will take it and hopefully when this test is over I will have fared well and kept my trust and sight on him always.

The TRUTH will set you free...

I was recently introduced to Nate Pfiel and this video. It is difficult to hear yet it is the truth. God used it to convict me in a certain area that I needed to improve

on. Immediately following the video I repented and made a commitment to change. This video really hit home for me and now I watch

it on the first of every month to further improve my relationship with God. The purpose of this blog is to document my spiritual journey. The

great, the good, the bad and the ugly. I want to remember every blessing and every conviction, every victory and every failure. If anyone

reads this blog I urge you to watch the video with an open heart and make it a part of 2010.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhX7m3rF20c